The Doll Purgatory
Hardly a place intended to kids, this hellish eternity exists in the Neverworld - a doomed miserable place, where all frightening toys and dolls get sent to (by the benevolent higher powers) and - hopefully - never come out to see the light of day.
(image credit: Olak2)
Ever since our "Nightmare Playgrounds" series got popular, we were asked to make a list of the most creepy and scary dolls that kids (and often their parents) get to enjoy and play with. So far you've seen some really frightening mannequins and crazy toys (as part of this page). But now we are going to heat up things a notch and spook you (in time for Halloween) with the ultimate bad and rejected toy creations.
Should we start with the scariest?
This denizen of the shadow world has a nickname: "Attack Monkey Baby" (Lord has mercy on its poor soul)
This one is up for adoption. Or not -
(doll from Noelle Hunt)
Sightless vintage dolls make good gifts for Halloween:
(image left: Monkeyshines; photo on the right is by Simon)
(images credit: Simon)
Most of the rest of doll purgatory population comes from developing countries where toys are not only ugly from the beginning, but also get to be abused for much longer time than their western buddies:
(image credit: Chrissy)
(right: photo by Simon)
The picture on the right, however, is taken inside an American flea market. Not that much different from Ukrainian heads on the left. Asian toys can be surreal, too:
(image credit: Monkeyshines)
Flickr abounds in photo pools with this subject matter: Unloved Toys, Scary Dolls, The Island of Lost Toys, Strange Toys... Go explore them and come back sane.
Here is one quintessential example:
(image credit: Fallin for Stella)
Every toy manufacturer has its "blond moment" sometime, but most re-compose themselves, fight a few lawsuits if necessary, and get back on track quickly.
"Horrified B-Movie Victims", buy it here:
(image credit: baronbob.com)
At first I did not see the bear and thought that these guys are actually fleeing from theater after seeing some really atrocious B-movie. One of them almost looks like Roger Ebert.
"Melting Babies" Candle Holders:
(image credit: charlesandmarie.com)
No comment. Order them here and watch them melt. There are also creepy baby lamps you can buy.
Hitler has been made into a toy statue. There is no toy Stalin yet, to my knowledge.
Nuclear Bomb Toys. Yes, very detailed, and you can choose from the whole catalog of them on the site:
These must be the art dolls (deliberately made to scare the bejesus out of you) -
(top right - doll by Karen Woodiel, others unknown)
The Queen of Art Dolls - Shaylee (from KryptKiddies), with a half-formed Pinocchio next to her side:
(images credit: KryptKiddies)
There are plenty of vampire dolls and devil babies toys on the market, but one could easily expect that. We are going more for the "what the heck!?" factor. Or even more far out stuff, like this alien green slime squid cyclop from Japan:
(image credit: TokyoCube)
Put this toy on top of your computer monitor and no boss would dare to come to you (without having second thoughts). And yes, it glows in the dark.
Robot Dog (one seriously hacked toy) -
(image credit: Don Pezzano)
"Horrible Sweet" series of art dolls (buy them here)
(image credit: horriblesweet.com)
Fake Babies - Pretend Baby Toys
Some of them are not toooooo bad... You could even consider them a cute sculpture art project (these are the ones made by Reborn Baby)
(image credit: Reborn Baby)
Pretty hard to tell the difference, isn't it? Well, that's the whole point - as people who can't get little babies otherwise get to play with these toys and show them off to their neighbours... Watch the video about this widespread phenomenon here
Some other "fake baby" toys are not so realistic (at least they make realistic sound - more info) -
(image credit: baronbob.com)
Tarzan did not escape the idiocy of some nameless manufacturer. Watch it at your own risk: