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The 10 Saddest Emo Animals

Green LOLZ from the Internets





Kurt Cobain may have been wrong: a British study suggests fish feel pain (big surprise, right?) -- and higher feelings remain a possibility. According to the global Emo movement, lots of animals already have deep, soulful feelings... at least two-dimensional macro animals.

Of course we still know very little about how other animals' brains actually work, so Douglas Adams or Neil Gaiman could still prove to be right, and it could turn out that dolphins, mice, rats or other species may actually be the wisest of us all. Until they decide to make their superiority obvious to us lesser beings, we'll have to try to figure out how to be the best stewards of the Earth on our own.

These days other species have a lot to be sad, and emo, about. New research suggests that plants even communicate with each other to warn of impending danger, and to earn a chance to fortify their natural defenses. But they can't effectively warn each other of wholesale conversion of habitat to urban, suburban and agricultural development. They can't warn themselves of global warming, sea level rise, industrial pollution or over-harvesting.

Under intense pressure, our oceans seem to be reverting to a primordial stew, and don't get me started on vanishing land wildlife and the fact that half of all primates are endangered (yum, bushmeat!).

Maybe these animals have a point:

10. Emo Shower Cat

emo shower cat

You may have already seen our funniest green LOL cats. Now we present to you… Emo Shower Cat. It's true cats usually aren't big fans of water, though they do love seafood. Evolution's a bitch.

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9. Emo Cat and Dog

emo cat and dog

It's nice to have friends. This adorable pair reminds us of Homeward Bound, only without Michael J. Fox and not cloyingly annoying. I had to watch 30 seconds of that movie to edit our list of best green movies for kids and I wanted to poke my eyes out with a blunt pencil. I can't believe I liked that as a kid.

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8. Emo Gorilla

emo gorilla

Great apes (don't call them monkeys people, please) have a lot to be depressed about. For one thing they haven't gotten over the murderous demise of their friend Diane Fossey. Oh, and they are tired of their babies being ripped out of their arms and sold to zoos, although they don't mind when kids throw them popcorn (don't tell their keepers I told you).

Mostly they don't like war, slash and burning or being made into still lifes.

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7. Emo Gonzo

gonzo the muppet

Like Eeyore, Gonzo is a pretty emo guy. We're really not sure what kind of, um, animal he is. But we think Jim Henson was awesome. Thank you Wikimedia. You are awesome too.

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6. Emo Cat Hates Everything

emo cat hates everything

There are more than 150 million domestic cats and dogs in the U.S., and a lot of them have more to fear than Michael Vick. Not only are abuse and neglect threats to many, but kill shelters still put to sleep millions. This Emo Cat hates that.

Thinking of sharing your home? Adopt a homeless animal from your local shelter! And don't turn unwanted animals out into the night. Not only is it bad for them, but they can prey on birds, native mammals and other species already under assault.

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5. Emo Cheetah

emo cheetah

Anyone remember Chris Crocker? Anyone? I haven't quite been able to get the runny eye makeup out of my head ever since I was first sent the link by TDG founder Deborah Barrow. Apparently even the animal kingdom was affected, right up to the fastest creature on foot.

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4. Emo Seal

flower arch

According to the post at Melodramatic, Emo Seal is the result of a remix project for ENGL 344. I'm not really sure what that means, but I'm guessing it's some kind of English class. An awesome English class! Way to go, kids.

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3. Emo Cow

emo cow

Emo Cow is awesome. The Internets has told me so. Not only did the meme dominate Digg and Reddit, but Peteamania added this nice dialogue bubble for our amusement. Thanks Petemania!

If only people would eat a little less meat, the environment would be so less emo...

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2. Emo Panda

sad panda

Pandas are pissed that people can't decide if they are bears or raccoons. I mean that's kind of a big difference.

Although they survived that big earthquake pretty well, in general it's a pretty tough life being a panda. Eating bamboo all day is fun and all, but it sucks losing your habitat and getting harassed by the locals. Remember this pathetic baby? It can't even sit up, thanks to you. Nice one douchebag.

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1. Emo Shark

sad shark

Sharks really have a lot to be upset about, and not just because they had to act in Police Academy 5. They do get their own week on the Discovery Channel, which is pretty cool, but many species are experiencing precipitous declines, in part because of soup.

Hey sharks, if you got rid of your tasty fins, that wouldn't be a problem now would it? You ever think of that sharks? (Sometimes I wonder how bright they are). Of course, sharks would still face troubles from bycatch, decimation of their food sources, ocean pollution, global warming and Spongebob. But they have nice white teeth.

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And now, for your viewing pleasure, Finding Emo:


Read more: http://www.thedailygreen.com/living-green/blogs/recycling-design-technology/saddest-emo-animals-461008#ixzz0e5OT90mo

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